Who are you, really?

I was recently asked who I was, how I define myself.  Not considering work.  I don’t know about you, but I always thought I was pretty clear on my identity.  But I was stumped, totally blank.  Then I started to rattle some things off, I am a mom, a wife, a foodie, an avid reader, a buddhist, an obsessor of modern art, furniture and architecture, an animal lover, a meditator, a passionate home cook, an aspiring yogi, a friend….and two thoughts stopped me – when was the last time I really made time for these things and was truly present doing them?  And, the list contains all things that a person does.  So, I didn’t really feel I had answered the question of “who are you,” and more importantly, I didn’t know.

We all do this to ourselves, or at least I think we do.  Once we graduate college we start to define ourselves our jobs, by our primary relationships, by our hobbies and we end up with a list.  What does that list really mean?

Mom – I have a 2 year old son, I nurture him, I love him, I feed him, I keep him clean and safe, I teach him, I play with him, I help shape him…

Wife – I have been with my wife for 9 years, we have been married over 6 (yes, legally thanks to getting in under the wire in CA).  I love her, I listen, I share, I support us financially, I nurture her, I make her laugh, I feed her, I am the cook in the house, she does the rest…we go on dates, we raise our son together, we try to stay open and loving and in touch, we try to have fun together, we plan for the future…

Employee – I have worked for the same Company for almost 6 years – I have moved 3 times for them, once internationally (we live in Amsterdam right now via NY, via Chicago, via LA, via Chicago).  I am in charge of Organization Development (ie how we keep people motivated, happy, and growing).  I used to spend most of my time doing executive coaching and running workshops on emotional intelligence, communication, leadership, etc…now I primarily run projects, which I hate.

blah blah blah…you get the picture.

I see myself as I am not…the things I identify with are not me…and in many ways many of the things I love I don’t even do anymore.  Time is of the essence, and for me, probably as for most people, I don’t have enough of it.

I am now on to figuring out how to discover, or rediscover me.

Some would say I am having a mid life crisis, albeit a few years early.